Suicide Prevention Month: Athletes and Suicide

As September comes to a close, so does Suicide Awareness Month, but should be in the spotlight year round.Sports, athletes, and poor mental health at first glance may seem like a game of "one of these things does not belong", as usually athletes appear to be stronger than an average person in both body and mind, but these people are often at higher risks at suicide due to added personal and external pressure athletes face.

Athlete and Suicide Facts

The facts, however, show that athletes are not immune to mental health issues. Just looking at a recent study of NCAA Athletes shows that the annual rate of suicide for male athletes was 1.35 per 100,000, and for female athletes it was 0.37 per 100,000. Among black athletes, the annual rate was 1.22 per 100,000, and among white athletes, the rate was 0.87 per 100,000 students. The highest rate of suicide occurred in football, with a rate of 2.25 instances of suicide per 100,000 athletes, which is partially explained by the result of head trauma. 

Generalizing these numbers, it's about 2 suicides per 200,000 athletes a year. A low estimate are that there are 460,000 NCAA Athletes competing each year. This means every year there will be approximately 4 student athletes who commit suicide each year. Over the 9 year study, there were 477 student-athlete deaths, and suicide represented 35 of these deaths, and the leading preventable cause of death during this time. This study doesn't include high school athletes or professional athletes, where in that case the number would likely be tripled. 

Preventable Disease

Often athletes are put on pedestals, basically local heroes, leading it to be difficult to accept their own personal struggles when everything would lead it to appear they are living the dream. However like mentioned previously, these deaths can be avoided with increased awareness, and removing the stigma of mental health. Nobody looks down on athletes when they have a ligament tear and have to take care of themselves or go to extra rehab, however as long as the cloud over mental health issues remain, student-athletes will not get the help they need as they try to ignore their problems.  

Photo credit ESPNW

The recent ivy league freshman, Madison Holleran, who committed suicide last year wrote in her note to her family, "I thought how unpleasant it is to be locked out, and I thought how it is worse perhaps to be locked in" and friends and family spoke how in the months leading up to her death she often spoke of her unhappiness and pressure she felt, and often discussed transferring. 

 A football player at Ohio State University wrote in his final note to his mother that his "head was messed up", and a former Chicago Bears safety's lone message in his note was requesting his brain be studied for possible damage. Shortly before junior Seau's death as well, he made a comment to his friends and family that he wanted his brain to go to science for the study of concussive injuries. 

What you can do

The goal of Suicide Prevention month is to help raise awareness and get others educated. When talking to teammates, friends, or family members try to pay attention. Usually they aren't looking for a fix, rather just looking to feel validated and not have their feelings minimized. Often those that appear to have so much going right for them feel guilty complaining and don't understand what they are feeling, and often there are "red flags" that survivor's family and friends only realize when it's too late.

Many schools require an ECG to prevent this sudden and preventable disease, but data shows the number of student athletes' death caused by cardiovascular disease is in fact lower than the amount of student athletes who commit suicide every year. It's pretty routine to have concussion screening to help prepare for a concussion, why not a similar mandatory screening for mental health at the beginning of the season as well? Once depression is treated as a real mental illness rather than a sign of weakness, these suicides will continue to happen. Some of the world's most influential, strong, and powerful leaders have suffered with depression, including Isaac Newton, Abraham Lincoln, Mahatma Gandhi, Winston Churchill, and Beethoven.

Depression in Athletes Quick Facts

Who Suffers from Depression?

• 20 Million People in US
• People with family history of depression
• 10% of those are under 18
• Women are impacted twice as much as men

Symptoms of Depression

• Constant sense of fatigue
• Increased desire to sleep
• Lack of concentration
• Loss of appetite, changes in weight
• Irritability
• Low self-esteem
• Low self-confidence
• Hopelessness
• Suicidal thoughts

Causes of Depression in Athletes

• Genetic Predispositions
• Injury
• Over Training
• Pressure by Coaches, teammates, self
• Lack of Time
• Feeling Overwhelmed

Wayne Brady and a Volleyball Olympian Both Take a Break Due to Depression

Depression has received recent attention world-wide after Robin Williams committed suicide in August. Today, another comedic hero of mine, Wayne Brady, talks about his struggle with depression in attempt to bring awareness to the disease and remove some of the stigma associated with it. Growing up watching him on "Whose Line is it Anyway?", he quickly became one of my favorites. All skits with him in it were instantly funnier because of his wit and ability to play off others jokes so perfectly, managing to make everyone else in the skit funnier just by being in it. It's no wonder there has been a lot of confusion and surprise around this announcement, because on the outside he seems to be so happy and successful but speaks of a life with so much hurt.

Another star who spoke out about depression this past week is Matt Anderson. A household name for many volleyball families, Matt has helped grow the sport globally by his skill and passion on and off the court. When I was trying out for the Olympic Team, thinking about living and breathing the sport seemed like a pretty cool job. While I was staying there Michael Phelps walked by, meeting him was crazy- but living with him year round seemed surreal. A lifestyle that many could only dream of, he has been living the past decade.


A star his entire career, Matt played at Penn State and helped them win the NCAA Men's Volleyball Championship in 2008 when he was a junior, where he was named the NCAA Championship Most Outstanding Player along with several Player of the Year/All-American Honors.

Instead of competing his senior year, he began his career in Europe where he's played ever since (Helping lead his Russian teams to National champions the past two years). At 25, Matt Anderson was the youngest player on the 2012 Men's Olympic team. He has been the US Men's leading scorer every year since 2011 and can touch 12 feet, 3 inches. When his games are televised, it's not uncommon for fans to tweet about how impressive he is on both the court and the eyes, often having a line of teenage girls hoping for an autograph after his matches.

"Big Things Ahead and I Want to be Ready!" is his recent post where he explains more about his decision his blog about his accomplishments thus far, and how busy he has been- and that it is in his best health interest to take a break to come back stronger than he is now.

It is not uncommon for an athlete to take a year off due to injury (concussions, torn ligaments, broken bones etc.) however the idea of an injured brain is something that is much less common, and definitely not talked about. There is a stigma around depression, and many see it as a choice to be sad- however how Matt describes it as perfect- it is an injury. People often are asking why or how he is depressed- but depression is a chemical imbalance. It is often hereditary and is biological hereditary no different then other diseases such as epilepsy or allergies. Where sadness normally has an outside trigger such as a death of a family member- the brain sends these signals without a trigger. So although it may seem like people with Depression have so much going for them, their brain is sending mixed signals that are extremely difficult to overcome.

His official statement released from the team he's playing on in Russia spoke more about his state of depression.

"I decided to stop my career, and this is entirely my decision is because I feel tired of volleyball. Ever since I started playing professionally, I almost had no chance to see my family. Because of this I do not feel comfortable and have been dealing with stress.

This critical condition and home sickness have reached their peak before the start of this season. I thought I could stand and overcome depression, but in the end I was wrong. I will miss the remainder of the season, but I am not finished with volleyball yet. I just want to have a break. I think that this break will help me get back the passion and love for the game."

Matt has a tattoo relating to his autistic cousin Tristin on his wrist, it's one piece of a puzzle with his cousin's name. He even put it on his right wrist since he's right handed and that's where he said he thought it would get the most television exposure for Autism Awareness. In April 2014, Matt was in an interview where his tattoo and cousin were brought up, and was asked if he believes everything happens for a reason- his response was pretty interesting:

"I believe things happen because they happen. I don’t think there’s a grand plan for everyone. I think that we are people, we are part of the world and the world is not ours. I think that we fit into the structure of our consciousness and of our reality. I think that things happen because you are here at that moment.If things happen for a reason, why do we live? Why do we have our consciousness? Why are we not just robots?

 If there’s a grand plan, why do we feel? Why do we have senses? Why do we love? Why do we hate? Why do we feel jealousy towards someone? Why do we motivate other people to be better people if it doesn't matter if it’s just going to happen for a reason beyond their control?"

I mostly agree with him. We are all different and we should not live based on what we think we should be doing or based on what people will think. What makes life so great isn't because we might make a huge difference in this world- but the little thinks like making relationships, making memories, and sharing love which are all things that we can somewhat control.

How to Define Your Life After Sports- Retired Athlete Problems

My goal is to write about the good and the bad, the happy and the sad, and unfortunately is the latter of the both due to some recent events. There is such a negative connotation around the word quitting for any athlete. The goal of practice and workouts is to train our bodies to be fit enough to not quit on us when we need it most in competition, when the other team and maybe some of our teammates are getting tired. Not many athletes I know play the sport for the practices, but instead for when competition time comes. The thought is if you keep going to practice, you will get better, and you will win- making practice both necessary and worth it. Quitting is a choice, and we've all had teammates quit for a variety of reasons whether burnt out or medical reasons, but regardless of the reason usually either their bodies quit or brains quit. Even if your brains don't quit, I've definitely had my body quit a few times on me- one of my more embarrassing moments was when I was attempting to max out on bench press and after a half of a rep laid pinned by my ambitious amount of weight. As my spotter removes the bar from my rapidly collapsing chest, I promise you that my brain wants the bar to move, but my body quit on me. It is for this reason why we go to morning weights at the same time our peers are coming home from a night drinking, and why we go to practice to fine tune the same skills we've been trying to perfect for countless years already. We have to make sure when the game's on the line, our body knows what to do and never quits (or cramps in Game 1 of the NBA finals) and we persevere. We may not lift that heavy of a weight today, but we are able to justify continuing to work towards it since we've come this far already.

The nice thing about sports is our improvements can be measured. You can tell if you are beating your previous best time, are lifting heavier weights, or are hitting at a better efficiency. You can see your hard work paying off, and you get rewarded for the efforts you put in.You are held accountable by your coaches and teammates, and all have common goals to motivate each other towards a specific deadline. What you do in practice translates to competition, and you get both extrinsic and intrinsic satisfaction from improving.

Guess what happens after your career is over? Areas in your life you used to obsess over become meaningless. In everything I did my purpose was to train. I ate healthy so I didn't feel like crap at practice; I didn't go out with my (one) non-athlete friend because I had practice the next day; I lifted weights so I could hit the ball harder. After a work out I would track my progress with coaches, looking over my statistics or watching film. Now all I can do to measure my athleticism is painfully watch my weight decrease as I lose all muscle I worked so hard over the years to gain.This feeling of a loss of purpose is a lot for people to handle. Your identity you've had for the majority of your life is gone, and you need to find new ways to define success. Often times you were competing against others weekly, putting your daily practice to use. Now with nothing emulating competition as a check-in, you're left without any short-term goals.

Around the time I wrote my first post, I learned the heart-wrenching news that an old teammate of mine had committed suicide. She was a strong, independent woman who excelled both on the court and in the classroom. A quick Google search pulls up how concussions, over-training, and post-competition stage of life can all be triggers for depression. I'm pretty sure about 99% of the athletes I've played with can check all three off of those list, or can in the next few years.

I really wish I had the answer for how you can define yourself, and it was a nice easy 3 steps to create an identity post-athletics that works for everyone. It's definitely not easy, but the feeling of nausea that comes over me as I think about losing a teammate is pretty indescribable. After I told my dad, I watched as he looked down silently and shed a few tears. He was hurting for her and her family, but also for his daughter and all of the young athletes really- who grow up with so much pressure to succeed put on by coaches, parents, and the most burdensome of themselves. He's seen me so happy, but he's also seen me so pissed as well- so disappointed in myself for not meeting the extraordinary expectations we all put on ourselves which often aren't practical or healthy. As someone who has gone to too many funerals at the age of 23- seeing parents outlive their child really hurts. It makes you hug your family a little tighter, reach out to friends you haven't talked to in a while, and really evaluate what you're doing in life and if these things are making you happy. So here's a few things that has helped me so far-

Stop the Hype. Looking back on your career it's easy to pick out the fondest memories. Whether it be a national championship, MVP of a tournament, or a big upset win- it's easy to define your sports career with these moments. Looking back I was blessed to have a fantastic career, and I can say I miss it and those were my "Glory Days." Funny, because if you were to ask most people what they want to be doing in their glory days, terms like: cortisone injections, sprint tests, no social life, and power lifts probably wouldn't show up on many people's lists. Everything involves trade offs. You had many things then, but you couldn't see your family on holidays, get a paying job, or start a family. 

Create New Goals. Like one of my exes used to say, lower your expectations, increase your happiness. Results in athletics would happen fast. You would be rewarded (or punished) at the next competition, and have a chance to do it better next time. This short-term focus has slowly shifted to long term. I eat healthy not for games, but to know I'm going to want to be a healthy parent who can keep up with my kids. My scholarship doesn't pay for my housing anymore, so I need to save money to buy a house. I need to continue to work-out and lift weights to relieve tension so my fiance still wants to marry me in 10 months. I don't need to work hard at practice for my teammates, but I do need to work 10x harder to show my family and friends how much they mean to me.

Re-create Certain Scenarios. Although you may never play varsity athletics again, many of us probably also won't have our first kiss again- and we just have to embrace that that time in our life is over. However, we are able to create new firsts, and recreate many things that did make us happy. There are leagues everywhere for all kinds of activities if you miss competing, and there's always Netflix if you want to reenact how you studied for finals. If you miss training you can train for a marathon, 5k, or tough mudder, and if you wish you could go back to a time that was simpler and you had less responsibility you can just appreciate that you also had less responsibility in Kindergarten and look how far you've come now.

Ask for a Spot. As corny as it may sound, it is always okay to ask for help. Many stories revolving around suicide in the NFL blame that athletics is a culture that often expects an individual to suck it up and keep going. In a hard life that comes with some glamour as well, people point to others less fortunate and explain if they can be happy so can you. If only your happiness was defined with how happy you appeared to be- then maybe this train of thinking would work. But I know I definitely would never try to max out my bench without a spot- and none of my teammates or coaches would ever expect me to, so it only is rational this mentality should carry over post-career whether it be to a therapist, old coach, or teammate. That's one of the best parts about being in athletics- the bonds you form from being together in the trenches- toughing out crazy circumstances- and having each others back. These are some of the most powerful relationships you can form, and these are the life-long friends most sorority sisters could only hope to find.

During pre-season we often trained for the unknown, buying into the concept that if we keep doing this we will be good and we will win. We didn't have anyone to play against so we just had to trust we were doing what we needed to do. Pre-season sucked, and you want to quit sometimes, but you keep pushing through knowing better days will be coming soon. Wrapping our heads around  that there is still a lot of unknown ahead of us can be really tough, especially when our goals are farther out now. But we just gotta believe what we're doing now is setting us up for where we are supposed to be, and keep faith in a bigger purpose in life.